Vulva Magazine focuses and reflects on the life of the modern woman, featuring inspirational stories from all over the world, with women of all ages, race, size - everyone is included! Vulva Magazine is a platform which gives a voice to women.
- STORY-TIME -
Once Upon A Time
Once upon a time, there was a nice guy. A boy in the disguise of a man. This isn’t a petty or a trash talk letter. This is a thank you letter. Specifically to my ex.
Breaking up is shitty. There is no denying that. There are so many feelings flying around us all the time and it is hard to navigate your life and what you truly want. I’ve been through several breakups now. But my most recent? A total eye-opener. There is a saying that you don’t really know someone until the money is involved, you travel and live together. I cannot tell you how true this is.
After a year of being together, my ex decided that he didn’t want to work on us anymore. He also did it over text. Prince Charming I know. Breaking up with someone, either way round is bloody horrible. Feelings of confusion, insecurity, sadness and asking yourself “Is this the right thing?” run through your veins. But for how long? That’s up to you to decide. There is no set time to get over someone. There is no set time to heal and love yourself again.
It all started because of an argument. An argument that spiralled out of control. I wanted to have a calm and civil conversation like a legitimate human being. Did that happen? On my part yes. I did snap at one point and called him a dick though. Because he was being a dick. The reaction I received in return was absolute rage. Do you want to know what the spark of the argument was? Football. Of course. Football overrules everything. Including your girlfriend’s 21st birthday. Come on now. A football game. Why can’t boys like gardening for once? Why can’t they put on a shirt that says I Love Beyonce? That’d be nice.
It goes on. My friend found him on dating apps not even 48 hours after breaking up. 48 hours. Within those 48 hours, I was distraught. I didn’t trash talk him or slag him off. I hadn’t even told many people about the breakup. The moment I found out was the moment I started to fall out of love with him in my mind. He was not the person I knew.
Every woman out there is born and bred a queen. You need to remember that. You were raised to be a strong, independent and smart as fuck woman. What are men actually good for? Sperm. That’s right.
This doesn’t mean I am signing my life off relationships. It just means I’ve stopped looking for a partner. I am focusing on my goals and rebuilding my life. The right person will eventually find their way to me. My standards are higher, I’m not worried about being single. Before this one, I was single for 3 years. I don’t need to depend on someone to feel, and you don’t either. Being single means you are strong enough to wait for what you deserve. Relationships are simple. Being there for that person, when they need you the most, to just love and cherish someone, is all a relationship is.
Ten years from now, I want to look back and say I chose my life, that I didn’t settle for it. Pain makes you stronger. Fear makes you braver. Heartbreak? Makes you wiser. I’ll get over it, I’ve just got to be dramatic first.
So, my final words? Boy bye.
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Edited by Hannah Mathieson
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